25.9.15
I haven't found a path forward yet.
A few days ago I pulled this notebook out and found this unfinished text. I had read a piece of stream-of-consciousness writing by Tang Jun and I also wanted to write a passage, but what I wrote came out incomprehensible and unfinished; while I still had time today I filled in the rest.
Life is like a string on a zither; when the string breaks, life loses its meaning. It was okay before—at least there was something holding on. But since being diagnosed with depression, that breath has also been swallowed. Right now, one could say life is hanging on by a thread.
I suddenly realize that I'm not that fond of information technology after all; perhaps origami is my one true passion?
25.9.16
It's raining again. It's coming down hard, and outside it's a white, hazy expanse.
It's more suitable for sleeping, but I can't sleep. It doesn't matter anyway, after all I'm going to sleep for a long time.
In the morning I booked a psychology counseling session. I had hoped to book for this afternoon, but someone already took it; actually when I go doesn't matter, I don't know if missing a few days matters.
Tomorrow I still have to interview newcomers; it's quite busy.
I want to go to 小枧 to see the stars.
25.9.17
Why is it raining again? My shoes are wet again,
Why do you keep chasing me to beat... so I have to play all the roles by myself. I have to do everything by myself, am I Superman...
This afternoon's integrated-media recruitment; I don't know if the teachers will approve people. It feels like we won't recruit many with technical skills.
Okay, well, people are fine, but what the heck with taking away the interview form?
25.9.18
So cold... I don't want to move.
Why does dismissal come only after finishing evening self-study tomorrow, Ji-ge, you don't need your parents anymore?
25.9.19
Congratulations to Ji-ge on regaining both parents; this afternoon after four classes it's off.
The weather is really nice today, perfect for sleeping.
In the afternoon I'm going for psychological counseling; I don't know if Sister Yu will release me. If she doesn't release me, I'll just walk out.
That dent on Sister Feng's head was from a childhood fall; no wonder. Honestly, continuing like this—crazy and scatterbrained—might not be impossible; living a carefree life could also work.